Stud Rabbits, Truckers in Dover and Wooden Surfboards

Posted: July 25, 2011 in London to Cologne


Paul picked me up from my house having run late because of the unreliability of the crazy girl from Bristol, who upon gratuitously accepted a lift from him then sent reams of messages on the morning of her pickup giving reasons as to why she could no longer come.

The image that at the least comes to my mind when I think of the girl from Bristol. We shall call her Spaz girl. Hello spaz girl. What's spazzin'?

I know.

Bitch. lol.

So Paul, in car with his surfboard in toe (this one’s plastic 😛 we’ll come to the wooden shizz later) set off to Mill Hill having got me at my mum’s. We were on a mission, between us, with one crummy map, to locate a special stud rabbit that was being sent across international borders to go forth and fuck! LOL. I guess the more appropriate word would be procreate, or breed. But we are all god’s children and I quite enjoy using potty language sometimes 🙂

Hi I'm stud. I'm currently away busy being studly. Please come back to me when your legs are open. SIncerely yours.........stud.

This part was actually surprisingly unspectacular, the rabbit did not try humping his box or us or anything.

Off we went, rocking up in Dover about 3 hours after our ticket was booked for (16 hours! German Paul is I should mention). During this time he had told me off his past time building wooden surfboards in 3 days that you could then use to surf. No woodworking skills were required, and it is an idea he has taken from a guy he met doing it in France, and apparently this niche business is becoming very popular in the States! He had flyers organised for it, a journalist coming to talk to him about it and was doing a demonstration at an upcoming festival in Wales – all good progress! I am impressed. I was impressed.

Nothing funny springs to mind. This is a good picture. So......fuck off.

Anyhoo, Paul hit upon the idea of asking drivers onboard the Dover – Dunkirque ferry if they would give me a ride. First we’d look at the plates to see what country they were from and then go from there. Of course I didn’t count upon my browness, beard and general uncouth look making me appear like a terrorist cum ridesharing rapist that was hellbent on savaging my fellow journeyman. Or more simply put, my series of rejections from the cars I wandered around asking may have come as a result of them thinking I looked like a weirdo.

Hmm, maybe this is what I communicate when I approach strangers. It's a kind of run for you lives thing isn't it? I think I saw this guy in Royston Vasey arguing with a butcher about dumplings.



Saying that however, I did get offered rides to Belgium, Italy and Germany again. There was one family that was going to Lithuania which is the country adjacent/south of Latvia. I was hoping he’d say yes, but with this kids in the car he didn’t want to take the risk. What a homo.








So, before we had exhausted all of our options we jumped onto the net in the McDonalds via Paul’s netbook to have a look on Rideshare! And lo and behold I came across Pavel, the half Ukranian/Russian that was going from Berlin ALL THE WAY to Tallinn. 1000km+ and charging only 50 euros. Not a bad gig at all. However, it was somewhat off putting as it felt like I was being interviewed on the phone.

I guess when you’re going to be in car for that long with one person you want to make sure they are of sound mind – not a bell end basically. And given my whole reason for travelling – for a damn bachelor party, it probably isn’t that far from the truth.

The wedding at which I was filming and fell asleep with the camcorder in my hand while listening to the best man's speech. Always handy when you are the assigned camera man for the evening. Ah. Good times.



Anyway, with a destination slightly closer in mind now, off I went into the darkness from Dunkirque. The bearded German surfer from the end of the road in Wales – Pembrokeshire – with the tramping British Indian in search of frolics across Europe and a stud, bunny fucking rabbit resting before his own quest. To breed.

So I made like sloth. And slept while Paul drove. Lol






I can be like this @ times. Generally when I get excited. Which is generally all the time.





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