This is where events start to get a little stranger. I met up with Pavel, having waited for him for several hours in the town’s main shopping centre.

“You have kind eyes” was literally his opening line followed by “I can ride with you”. My silent third line was “good fucking god I’m scared”, but of course I chose not to share that with him.  As the day progressed we met the other passenger.

Tell me! EVERYTHING now damn you! Lol. A nice guy actually.

A young academic that taught politics at some Germany in university. The wonderful Felix! What a name ha ha, so we all sat in a coffee shop introducing ourselves and getting to know each other a little better.

Pavel offered me a place to crash at his, and before you wonder whether I started running for the hills (which I did a little later lol), Pavel did seem to be of good character. He was a traveling musician as Felix had enlightened me, a singer-songwriter guitar player. Quite an interesting character I must say. He married a 62 year old New Yorker in order to get a green card (which did not work out apparently), had performed with famous jazz and blues musicians from around the world, studied aviation at university as an act of rebellion as his parents had pushed him into music from a young age, and then had promptly dived back into it.

Also, he believes in aliens 😛

See! I bet you want to meet him now too! Not to mention he believes in the law of attraction, has a friend who is a great believer in chakra’s, and Pavel is a 37 year old man that looks about 25.

So yes, out of the ordinary.

The best is yet to come however. As it turned out whilst he was parked up in the city a few days ago,, what was seemingly a bum had recognised that he has an Estonian number plate on his car, and awaited and then accosted him at his car.

The Chief actually looks nothing like this, but I love this picture so I have posted it for jokes lol

It turned out that this olive skinned Al Pacino look alike had travelled all the way from his farm in Latvia somewhere with a contract and the promise of a job in Berlin, and had left his wife and two children there to go and find work and raise some money for his family. Substinence farming can only take you so far. It turned out he had been sent to the wrong place – and his job was 500kilmoteres away, his week’s survival money had run out and he had pawned his mobile phone for some euro’s and was living on the streets with some bums that had taken him in.

What a story!

And where did mr Latvian gypsy farmer tramp man end up that evening?

Staying in the same fucking room at Pavel’s place that I was sleeping in. Having gone from a railway station to this – I was not sure whether I was making a backward move from the railway station to this.

Keep one eye open! Some fucker might rob you of your arse virginity while you sleep! More likely your wallet though. In this case......nada lol

My fears proved hollow however.

 

 

A shower, durum (Turkish kebab), and several conspiracy theories later I lay in bed awaiting the start of the next adventure.

 

I must make a note and say I had some minor female blues on facebook at this point, but resolved to not let personal issues ruin my trip. I slept with a touch of sadness but did my best to look forward to the next part of my journey!

 

We move on...

 

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Having delivered the package. i.e. breeding rabbit to a german women only slightly less weirder than the owner of the rabbit itself, a strange English boy from mill hill with foppy hair and an eminent need for a wash (not too different from myself then perhaps), off I hightailed to the underside of a dark bridge.

Hey! When I need to piss...this is how I roll!

Minus copious amounts of urea later I decided that it would be best if I stayed at the train station in search of a ride forwards from there. I had to get to Berlin to meet Pavel as he POSSIBLY had a lift for me!

Images of Dolph Lungren come to mind when I look at this picture. He looks like a machine doesn't he! Ha ha well he certainly has enough energy. Man is constantly high. Except when he's asleep. Ok. Too much information lol.

I don’t rely on much really do I.

So there I lay uncomfortably on a bench as I waited for dawn to break trying to get some shut eye but recognising Cologne’s finest tramps would be quicker on my luggage than rats are on cheese.

Again I gathered several numbers and starting calling several people at the crack of dawn. Having spoken to a woman that said “Hellooooooo?” “Hellooooo?” in an uber thick German accent I decided it was probably best I went with someone else instead.

Waz ist Daaass. Hellooooooo. Lol. Ah she was just like I pictured her to be. Fucking annoying.

Unfortunately given the time constraints I couldn’t truly hitch so to speak as I needed to be in Tallinn by Friday, otherwise it would defeat the object of my entire trip!

I managed to find this bus company that was charging 28 euros to go to Berlin (6 hour drive) from Cologne that morning. Again communicating with a chap that spoke about 9 words of English I thought I would save any potential confusion.

There I stood outside of McDonalds with a great big sign saying – BERLIN. Just so as to be sure I wouldn’t be missed.

Having a great big sign saying BERLIN generally avoids creating confusion as most people (apart from the blind, they would struggle I think) will not confuse my intended onward destination. Unless. They're complete dicks of course. Which has been known.

Off I went to Berlin, watching a movie on the girl’s iphone that was sitting next to me and then trying my best to doze off. A pretty uneventful ride.

I wonder what wonders would await me in Berlin.

 

Well.

Paul picked me up from my house having run late because of the unreliability of the crazy girl from Bristol, who upon gratuitously accepted a lift from him then sent reams of messages on the morning of her pickup giving reasons as to why she could no longer come.

The image that at the least comes to my mind when I think of the girl from Bristol. We shall call her Spaz girl. Hello spaz girl. What's spazzin'?

I know.

Bitch. lol.

So Paul, in car with his surfboard in toe (this one’s plastic 😛 we’ll come to the wooden shizz later) set off to Mill Hill having got me at my mum’s. We were on a mission, between us, with one crummy map, to locate a special stud rabbit that was being sent across international borders to go forth and fuck! LOL. I guess the more appropriate word would be procreate, or breed. But we are all god’s children and I quite enjoy using potty language sometimes 🙂

Hi I'm stud. I'm currently away busy being studly. Please come back to me when your legs are open. SIncerely yours.........stud.

This part was actually surprisingly unspectacular, the rabbit did not try humping his box or us or anything.

Off we went, rocking up in Dover about 3 hours after our ticket was booked for (16 hours! German Paul is I should mention). During this time he had told me off his past time building wooden surfboards in 3 days that you could then use to surf. No woodworking skills were required, and it is an idea he has taken from a guy he met doing it in France, and apparently this niche business is becoming very popular in the States! He had flyers organised for it, a journalist coming to talk to him about it and was doing a demonstration at an upcoming festival in Wales – all good progress! I am impressed. I was impressed.

Nothing funny springs to mind. This is a good picture. So......fuck off.

Anyhoo, Paul hit upon the idea of asking drivers onboard the Dover – Dunkirque ferry if they would give me a ride. First we’d look at the plates to see what country they were from and then go from there. Of course I didn’t count upon my browness, beard and general uncouth look making me appear like a terrorist cum ridesharing rapist that was hellbent on savaging my fellow journeyman. Or more simply put, my series of rejections from the cars I wandered around asking may have come as a result of them thinking I looked like a weirdo.

Hmm, maybe this is what I communicate when I approach strangers. It's a kind of run for you lives thing isn't it? I think I saw this guy in Royston Vasey arguing with a butcher about dumplings.

 

 

Saying that however, I did get offered rides to Belgium, Italy and Germany again. There was one family that was going to Lithuania which is the country adjacent/south of Latvia. I was hoping he’d say yes, but with this kids in the car he didn’t want to take the risk. What a homo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, before we had exhausted all of our options we jumped onto the net in the McDonalds via Paul’s netbook to have a look on Rideshare! And lo and behold I came across Pavel, the half Ukranian/Russian that was going from Berlin ALL THE WAY to Tallinn. 1000km+ and charging only 50 euros. Not a bad gig at all. However, it was somewhat off putting as it felt like I was being interviewed on the phone.

I guess when you’re going to be in car for that long with one person you want to make sure they are of sound mind – not a bell end basically. And given my whole reason for travelling – for a damn bachelor party, it probably isn’t that far from the truth.

The wedding at which I was filming and fell asleep with the camcorder in my hand while listening to the best man's speech. Always handy when you are the assigned camera man for the evening. Ah. Good times.

 

 

Anyway, with a destination slightly closer in mind now, off I went into the darkness from Dunkirque. The bearded German surfer from the end of the road in Wales – Pembrokeshire – with the tramping British Indian in search of frolics across Europe and a stud, bunny fucking rabbit resting before his own quest. To breed.

So I made like sloth. And slept while Paul drove. Lol

 

 

 

 

 

I can be like this @ times. Generally when I get excited. Which is generally all the time.

 

 

 

Make a decision

Posted: July 25, 2011 in London to Cologne

My sister’s fiance Gary has had his stag/bachelor party planned for the weekend of the 22nd July for sometime now.

This is my sister's fiance on one of his better days! Clearly you can see she has done very well for herself ha ha. The Stag!

Being the “numpty” I am (have always wished to use that word 🙂 I failed to check Tallinn’s (the proposed city of bachelor badness) distance from London….some 1,200 miles. Hence mr poor boy aka me not being able to afford a plane flight. Ajay my tawny cousin dropped out at that stage having seen quotes for £200+ one way from various airlines.

Try and charge me £200+ bloody pounds to get to Tallinn! Who the hell do you think you are? Although saying that, I did fly with you guys back...I got more leg room this time round as well - I could just about curl my toes in horror at my seat 🙂

In my spontaneity and impudence I decided it would make much more sense financially if I hitchhiked. Which of course it doesn’t really – it’s a fairly nominal saving relative to the time spent in transit and of course if you convert your hourly time to a £ value then it’s a loss. Especially since I can’t work whilst abroad!

Sunday, the week before the trip I decided that I would then hitchike. It was an idea I hit upon precisely one day before, and I think it’s become more about my rash take the life by the horns as well as the testicles and more approach.

http://www.rideshare.co.uk/ – was my eventual port of call. It was a handy sight that allows you to locate people travelling across countries and offering rides. I managed to find my trusty driver Paul Rosenberg of Cologne (but currently Pembrokeshire – in the absolute middle of shitting nowhere in Wales lol). Having researched online for a matter of hours, and called about 5 different potential drivers. it turned out I would be heading to Cologne the next morning.

Having been a supreme tit as you can probably tell from my pictures I failed to take a camera out with me taking the advice of my sister. That proved to be a great idea since I'm now wondering around Google finding pictures instead. This is Paul. He had a cool beard when I met him. Check out his shizz @ http://woodensurfboards.blogspot.com/ Dude builds wooden surfboards!

Packing a torch, brolly, and my guts and nerves into one bag, off I trundled into bed realising I was about to set off on a entirely different type of adventure to that which I’ve been used to…

And I still needed to shave.

The beard you can see in the specimen we collected from a then unwanted camera is what we at Deepak's blog would like to consider a lady repellent. Guaranteed to repel any female with a pulse. Some men too.

So, if you know me, you’ll know that I am a fairly spontaneous guy that will see an idea through once I get a bug.

I was a naive 18 year old abroad in this picture in search of cheap booze, good times and a careful slap around the face (although the last point is an opinion not of my own lol!). Gladly, 7 years later, I have a bigger beard, more hair, and only slightly smaller eyebrows. Otherwise, nothing much has changed.

In this case the bug was hitchhiking.

This is a story of my travel from London to Tallin – Estonia. A 1200 mile trip that I undertook overland by trying to thumb rides and find drivers to bring me to my destination.

The 16 man strong bachelor party of my future brother in law. Mr Gary Strange.

If any of this catches your eye, than my name is Deepak Shukla and thank you for reading. If it does not, well fuck ya then.

🙂

I am neither white, have overly tight white jeans or foppy hair (working hard on the last part though). Same sense of adventure though. Minus that cool logo cleverly made in Microsoft Paint or some equally shite application. Good times.